Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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