Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
