It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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