talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My vagina just clenched in fear
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
