Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
