jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
