i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
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Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize