whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You were trust falling into bushes
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
