I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
At least life still wants to fuck me.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
