i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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