beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
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Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
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Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.