dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just gift wrapped bread.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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