Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
