There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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