I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
This toilet bowl is my home.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
