Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
