she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
