Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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