im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
