I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
