You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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