I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
