I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
