my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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