a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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