so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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