i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
