you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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