he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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