My hand turned me down
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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