Duck Duck Cougar?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
