I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
