the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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