girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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