Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Panties = found
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
