wrigley field is MILF paradise
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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