You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
