Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
