Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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