TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
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Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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