please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
