what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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