Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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