I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
