I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Two words: blizzard sex
FUCK WHALES
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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