you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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