I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
