Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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