Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
