dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
