Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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