4 words: hood of his car
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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