Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
