dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Found your dick twin last night
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
