Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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