You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
