I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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