is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
