I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
