Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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