I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
