i jhust puked up my retainher.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
