How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
