I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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