So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
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